The Toy

As children we played, in all the fun we had made.

Though it be dirt, our elders thought more work.

For what you do, Heavenly Father,

thank you, for playing as my younger brother,

Grasping something out of nothing,

forming miracles into everything.

Not of a toy that we shared,

Set up and stolen on a dare.

Undisturbed area upon the earth,

all the effort of no worth.

Angry, crying to say the least,

holding my tongue, or become a beast.

Days after I believed I knew,

as a child of what eventually comes over you.

Knowing we are not yet strong,

we attempt to correct what is wrong.

Time wears and shows no pain,

as a child, our thoughts don’t gain.

Thinking back upon that time,

what was given wasn’t truly mine.

Throughout the ages, lessons learned,

hardened my heart, I should discern.

Yes, God does love me,

I know it’s never too late

to play as a child at God’s Gate.

(This poem was submitted by David Roettgen, a participant in the Christian Life Program at City Union Mission.)

My Road to Recovery

All these years my addictions have been thinking for me. Now, all that is left is the shadow of what had been controlling me. I have been down some rough roads, through hard times and I have made some unhealthy choices and mistakes along the way. I have see that mistakes are for learning, not condemnation so - to err is human - to hold on to your mistakes is a sin.

I have made a conscience choice to not live my life in shame, guilt and sorrow. I have made a choice to take action and change. Overcoming mental blocks has been a period of adjustment for me. Being sober allows me to identify triggers associated with relapse, old mind sets and the darkness that would attack me and keep me down.

I will continue to trust God in everything, not because I need Him to think for me, but because I need Him to teach me how to think for myself. 

I will continue to trust God to help me identify internal warning signs of relapse, not because I need Him to do it for me, but because I need Him to help keep me away from my old mind sets. 

I will trust God, not because I have to, but because I have discovered who I am. 

I will continue to trust God as my choice of intervention, not because I am lazy, but because my flesh is deceitful and weak. 

I will continue to trust God in all my abilities, not because I cannot do it on my own, but because of the love I have for Him, therefore I trust Him.

God will always be my source of intervention, my constructive intervention, my choice of intervention, and God implements my intervention for me.

(Written by Dawn, a participant in the New Life Program at City Union Mission)

Homeless… and Job Hunting

Looking for employment is extremely hard when you are homeless. The reality is that trying to do anything while homeless is difficult, no matter how small the task.

There are a variety of hardships that interfere with the process of job hunting while homeless. Some of these are: the shadow of depression, undeniable anxiety, tunnel vision, not having a car, not having any money, lack of a support system, overwhelming stress, an unstable mind, and no work or interview clothes.

Writing this, I am having flashbacks of pure sadness about the time when this was me. But I have a God who is bigger than my problems and has always provided for my needs. With God on your side, you always have a hope and a future!

(Lakeshia is a participant in the New Life Program at City Union Mission)

Fifteen Minutes of Fame - Past, Present, and Future

Most people at one time or another have their fifteen minutes of fame. Mine was on Friday, Jan. 13, 2012. What a day for that to happen. I was asked if I was up to an interview. I said I would be happy to do so, not knowing then what was instore for me.

I found out that the Family Center would receive a grant and Congressman Emmanuel Cleaver would be here. No pressure, right? Well, after meeting Mr. Cleaver I felt at ease. I got up along with another lady, Yaisi, and both of us told a cliff notes version of how we came to the Mission. Then came the pictures. Channel 5 News did an on-camera interview with me and a KMBZ radio DJ did an interview with both Yaisi and myself. Soon our fifteen minutes were over, but the memories will last.

Afterwards, I got to thinking about everyone all through history who experienced their fifteen minutes. For some, it lasted a short time. For others, it went on for years. Each time, it only lasted until someone else came along and took the spotlight. With 2 exceptions, all we have is a short time.

The two exceptions, I am referring to are Jesus Christ and Satan. Their fifteen minutes began before time started and will last until time ends and beyond. It is up to us to decide which side of the coin to be involved in. We can spend fifteen minutes of fame in heaven with Jesus Christ; Or, we can spend our fifteen minutes with Satan in the fires of hell.

Have you made your choice? I have. Hope to see you there!

(LeeAnn is a participant in the New Life Program at City Union Mission)

The Tiny Lighted Door

Wait, don’t go near there, it is not large enough for even a thought to pass through. Yet how is it we see a pinhole of light?

Drawn by something towards not of mere thoughts, but something foreboding, incomprehensible.

Lest we all stand here firmly planted we won’t know.

Whom is brave, daring, courageous, one without fear and a total understanding of what we face here, or within there.

Walking towards, seemingly gaining nothing not only of ground, we begin to hasten our pace realizing that our paths are no different than the speed of which shows no gain.

Resting and using what I just pondered upon, we notice the lighted object enlarged. What, why, how doesn’t answer, but in itself.

Taking another breath, visualizing this object suddenly it appears just out of reach and certainly attainable. This door recognizable now not so tiny and of immensely great light, shinning upon our surroundings, enabling us to a realization that of which is a type of moving picture.

The foreboding wasn’t that out of reach, but is that of which has always surrounded us.

Now standing, fearing what is to happen, we reach for a handle to aid in opening the door. Touching this handle is something that we all want. Our senses awakening as we firmly grasp the handle opening the door in haste, feeling our inner person leaping in joy as we sense also that something left behind, won’t be missed.

Anewness, AWE-NEW-NESS -- the very tiny door was opened, lighted, showing, guiding our way; here next to Him laid the key that was placed before our journey started and was drawn to the tiny lighted door.

(Written By David M. Roettgen,  a participant in the Christian Life Program at City Union Mission)

My Life Now Has a Direction

Before coming to the Mission, my life was spent just existing. I spent nights awake thinking about the dead-end job waiting for me in the morning. I was always angry, frustrated, and stressed out. I drank so that I could sleep, but that didn’t help very long. I had no real direction or purpose. Life was just a daily existence that I didn’t look forward to.

When my wife became ill, there were more bills than I could even think about. I drank more so I wouldn’t have to think about them, but the bills were still there. Then when I thought things couldn’t be worse, I got injured and lost my job. With more than enough experience in my line of work, I thought finding a job would be easy. I was wrong. We finally lost our housing and everything we owned.

At City Union Mission, I found a staff of great people who were more than willing to help me. I stopped drinking the day I arrived three months ago and haven’t had a drink or even wanted a drink since. The Mission staff helped me to find my way back to God and the Church. I am receiving spiritual and educational help. I have a great place to live with good people around me. Life now has a direction and a purpose. I like waking up in the morning again.

(Ken is a participant in the New Life Program at City Union Mission, along with his wife Lea Ann)

Pressing on for the Higher Goal in Christ

It has taken God’s hand upon my life to release me from my addictions. Living my life with Christ allows me to be free of my addictions. Living my life for Christ allows me to stay clean and sober. Coming here to City Union Mission has helped me to overcome the entrapment of my addictions through rest, reflection, the teachings of God, and the commitment from the staff members to help me create an intentional path towards success.

It has taken God’s other hand upon my life to keep me lifted up and having sight as I journey through my commitment to Him, not allowing others or circumstances to hinder my walk and discovery of myself. Since I have been here at the Mission and have committed my life to the New Life Program, I have learned the meaning of being valued by God. I now have the freedom to value, love, and accept myself by putting the Lord first in all I do.

People may think what they want because ultimately, God is in control of ALL THINGS! I know I have trials and tribulation ahead, and I do expect to suffer for them. Anything worth having creates a challenge to keep it. Relying on and trusting in God is essential for success in anyone's life—putting ALL negativity behind and pressing onward toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Jesus Christ.

So whoever may be reading this, please understand that God is very real, and that if God is for us, then who can be against us? All we have to do is talk to God, consistently and love Him with all our hearts. Please brothers and sisters, press on for the higher goal which is in Christ.

(Dawn is a participant in the New Life Program at City Union Mission)